How to Create a Balanced Life: 9 Tips to Feel Calm and Grounded
By Jasmin Tanjeloff
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton
As a Libra, my sign is the scale, which signifies balance. I’m not sure how much my “signage” plays into my desire to live a balanced life, but I do know that the more balanced I feel, the more free I feel.
In my work I am often reminded that what works for some people does not necessarily work for others; and that one person’s idea of balance may not constitute anything remotely balanced from another person’s perspective.
So I wanted to address the various elements of life that can require balancing and offer some suggestions to find the mix that works best for you.
To start, what does it mean to be balanced?To me, it means that you have a handle on the the various elements in your life and don’t feel that your heart or mind are being pulled too hard in any direction. More often than not, you feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, and motivated.
How do you find your balance?The elements in life that require the most balancing can be divided into two categories: internal and external. Oftentimes, people focus on one more than the other.
For example, you may find that you focus on external things, like work, relationships, and activities, and that you pay very little attention to what is going on inside your heart and mind.
On the other hand, you may find that you spend so much time being self reflective that you sometimes miss out on the experience of living.
Other people may be fairly balanced between the two but might want to balance out some specific elements within each category; so I created this little outline to help us better understand the beneficial components on both ends of each spectrum.
Internal (Mind, Heart, Health)
It’s helpful to check in with yourself to see if you feel balanced.
If you feel pulled in any one direction and uneasy about it, these steps may help you get your life aligned:
1. Acknowledge.Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.
2. Examine.Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.
3. Set Goals.Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list.
4. Plan Tasks.Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. What have you tried in the past? Did it work? If not, what can you do differently?
5. Reflect.What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?
6. Prepare.What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan (fears, worries, doubts, negative self talk)? Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (For example: “Just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.
7. Empower.What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self-sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it!
8. Connect.Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.
9. Plan.Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!
How To Lead a Well-Balanced Life
By Diana Rodriguez | Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
Everyone longs to be healthy and happy. After all, what's the point in working hard toward a long and healthy life if you can't enjoy it? While focusing on a healthy lifestyle by exercising and eating right is great for your body, balanced living means protecting your mental and emotional health, too. And stress reduction needs to be at the top of your to-do list.
Balanced Living: Making the Commitment
Balanced living means considering all aspects of your life: relationships, work, fitness and health, and emotional well-being.
We all get bogged down with work and family responsibilities from time to time, but making time for yourself is necessary so that you can keep up with all your responsibilities. All batteries get run down, even yours. So recharge your body physically and mentally and make the commitment to enjoy some “you time” every day.
Balanced Living: Boosting Happiness and Creativity
Being happy gives you a better outlook on life, so you're more prepared to tackle your tasks. Stress, on the other hand, can keep you from enjoying life and can have a negative impact on your health. Research also has shown that stress can stifle creativity.
Make time to take care of yourself and indulge in creative outlets you enjoy to help with stress reduction:
Exercise isn't something you should force yourself to do, or you won’t be likely to stick with. Do something that you like and look forward to doing, instead of another chore that you'll be tempted to skip. Remember that exercise plays a huge role in stress reduction, so make time and motivate yourself for exercise by:
The right diet will keep your body healthy, give you energy, and boost your spirits. Healthy food can be delicious, and it's fun learning new recipes and healthy combinations. Also, healthy cooking doesn't have to be time-consuming:
Learn more about balance.
Last Updated: 5/20/2009
HOW TO LIVE A BALANCED LIFE
By Alex Blackwell on Apr 02, 2009
- See more at: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/how-to-live-a-balanced-life/#sthash.voyKM3Xa.dpuf
We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance. – Dr. Kathleen Hall
There’s no question we want great things for ourselves and for our loved ones. However, many of us are stuck without knowing how to create the life we want. We regret the fact we sometimes have to live paycheck-to-paycheck; or our relationships are not as satisfying as we want them to be; or our lives are simply not balanced and we are not going in the direction we had hoped.
Some believe the notion of a truly balanced life is only a myth. With too much to do and with too little time to do it, anxiety and stress replaces happiness much of the time. However, there is hope, because the ability to change our lives exists in all of us. We just need to learn how to become more balanced.
Living a balanced life is the ability to take all that life throws at us from our careers, home, health and everything else, and put it in a central location so we can reframe it in order to better understand it, learn from it and grow from it.
The following life balance strategies provide a roadmap; a handbook of sorts, to begin the process of living a balanced life each day.
Create a VisionBefore you start, you ought to know where you want to go. The lack of not having a plan is what keeps some folks from creating the life they want because they have no idea what they want in the first place.
A life vision is not an etched in stone deal that can never be changed; but rather, it is a high-level vision statement that goes something like, “this is what I want from my life.”
For me, I want to meet, or exceed, the financial and emotional needs of my family. I want to be in control of my future and give myself the ability to have choices with my career. I may not achieve all of these things every single day, but this vision is what gives me focus and a very good idea of what a balanced life looks, and feels like, when I’m struggling and veering off course.
Identify Your GoalsYour life’s vision is what provides governance to how you want to live; your goals are the tactical components of your vision. Your goals help make your vision a reality. For the most part, goals are measureable and quantifiable.
Goals can vary in size and scope. One goal might be to retire at age 50 in order to begin living your life’s passion and another might be to find one evening during the week when you and your partner can go out and spend some time alone.
Often, our lives feel out of balanced when we have not clearly defined our goals or we are not actively pursuing them. Take time each week; each day, to consider what you want to accomplish. Make a plan to align your activities to your life’s vision.
Prioritize Do what’s important first. The distractions of email, text messages, and mind-numbing television can keep us from focusing on what is truly important.
In order to spend time on activities that support you life’s vision and will keep you daily life in better balance, consider these productivity tips:
Five Golden MinutesTake five minutes each day and consider what worked for you and what didn’t. Look at the things that made you feel successful and happy compared to those that contributed to anxiety and stress.
Look for patterns. Living a balanced life is about identifying and doing more of what’s working and less of what is not. Stop and think if your actions and thoughts support your vision and goals. Nurture the ones that are effective and adjust the ones which are counterproductive.
Pay Attention to Your BodyIf you are feeling fatigue and worn down at the end of the day, or find it difficult to get up in the morning, these are signs you are doing too much. Persistent headaches, constipation, and sexual dysfunctional are all warning signs your body, and your life, are out of balance.
Your body is an excellent sounding board. It will tell you a lot about the quality of your life if you choose to listen.
Ask for Feedback and HelpI’m not sure any body has everything figured out. Asking for feedback is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of resolve and determination. It shows a commitment to wanting to improve your life and for learning how to balance everything thrown at you.
Reach out to those who have experienced what you are experiencing and seek their guidance. When you don’t know how to do something, it’s OK to ask.
Make AdjustmentsStuff happens. Sometimes we are thrown a curveball when we are expecting a fastball.
My son, Andrew, plays baseball for his high school team. There are times when he is down in the count no balls and two strikes. This is the time the pitcher usually throws some junk, either an off-speed pitch or a curveball. Andrew takes his hands all of the way back and waits. But instead, a fastball comes.
In less than an tenth of a second he has to make the important adjustment to try to throw his hands at the pitch and see what happens. Sometimes he is successful, often times he is not, but he still commits to making the adjustment. There is a good lesson here for the rest of us.
We can think something is expected to happen, and then unexpectedly, something else happens instead. Life is dynamic. Yes, it’s good to have a plan, but a big part of any plan is the contingency plan that stands right behind it. Having a good back-up plan can help us keep our balance when we see the fastballs coming.
Rest and RelaxTaking a time-out now and then isn’t a luxury as much as it is a necessity. It’s important to take a step back and process everything going on in your life. Your vision can be a lot clearer when you are not so close to the situation.
Rest your body and a sharper mind will follow. Use your new-found energy and clearer thinking to help you keep your balance as you navigate through some rough waters. Solid footing is always close by. We just have to be mindful we need its stability from time to time.
By Jasmin Tanjeloff
“Happiness is not a matter of intensity but of balance, order, rhythm and harmony.” ~Thomas Merton
As a Libra, my sign is the scale, which signifies balance. I’m not sure how much my “signage” plays into my desire to live a balanced life, but I do know that the more balanced I feel, the more free I feel.
In my work I am often reminded that what works for some people does not necessarily work for others; and that one person’s idea of balance may not constitute anything remotely balanced from another person’s perspective.
So I wanted to address the various elements of life that can require balancing and offer some suggestions to find the mix that works best for you.
To start, what does it mean to be balanced?To me, it means that you have a handle on the the various elements in your life and don’t feel that your heart or mind are being pulled too hard in any direction. More often than not, you feel calm, grounded, clear-headed, and motivated.
How do you find your balance?The elements in life that require the most balancing can be divided into two categories: internal and external. Oftentimes, people focus on one more than the other.
For example, you may find that you focus on external things, like work, relationships, and activities, and that you pay very little attention to what is going on inside your heart and mind.
On the other hand, you may find that you spend so much time being self reflective that you sometimes miss out on the experience of living.
Other people may be fairly balanced between the two but might want to balance out some specific elements within each category; so I created this little outline to help us better understand the beneficial components on both ends of each spectrum.
Internal (Mind, Heart, Health)
- Mind: Challenging yourself intellectually vs. creating opportunities for your mind to rest
- Heart: Giving love vs. receiving love
- Health: Eating, drinking, exercising properly vs. resting and treating yourself to some extra yummies
- Work: Pushing yourself to achieve goals vs. seeing the bigger picture and enjoying the ride
- Social: Satisfying your social desires vs. taking time for yourself
- Family: Fulfilling your familial responsibilities vs. creating healthy boundaries
- Fun: Allocating time for things you enjoy doing vs. making sure you don’t overdo it
It’s helpful to check in with yourself to see if you feel balanced.
If you feel pulled in any one direction and uneasy about it, these steps may help you get your life aligned:
1. Acknowledge.Take some time to really look at your life, your state of mind, and how you’re feeling. Be honest with yourself and notice the areas of your life that you’re neglecting.
2. Examine.Notice if you’re leaning more toward an internal or external focus, or if there are areas within each category that you would like to be more balanced.
3. Set Goals.Look at the outline to help you decide which ways you want to balance your life. Make a list.
4. Plan Tasks.Make a list of daily, weekly, and monthly tasks that you will need to do to achieve each of these goals. What have you tried in the past? Did it work? If not, what can you do differently?
5. Reflect.What is the most important thing you’ve accomplished in the past? How did you stay focused toward this goal? How did you handle your fears, doubts, anxieties, worries, and negative self-talk? How does it feel to know that you accomplished the goal in spite of these parts of yourself?
6. Prepare.What is your inner “stuff” that will try to keep you from sticking to your plan (fears, worries, doubts, negative self talk)? Can you specify the things you will say to yourself to push you off track? (For example: “Just one more bite, I’ll start eating better tomorrow”) Make a list.
7. Empower.What do you need to remember in those times? What are things you can say to that self-sabotaging part of yourself? Be kind to yourself. Balance won’t feel good if you’re cruel to yourself in creating it!
8. Connect.Is there a person or a tactic you can use to keep yourself supported, motivated, and focused in those hard times? I highly recommend connecting and sharing your inner process with someone. Find someone who can help you challenge your inner demons, and celebrate your little accomplishments.
9. Plan.Just like accomplishing any goal in life, it takes time and effort to overcome your habitual patterns and create new ones. If you stay on track with this detailed and intentional process for three whole months, then there is a good chance you will create new habits to enjoy a more balanced life going forward!
How To Lead a Well-Balanced Life
By Diana Rodriguez | Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH
Everyone longs to be healthy and happy. After all, what's the point in working hard toward a long and healthy life if you can't enjoy it? While focusing on a healthy lifestyle by exercising and eating right is great for your body, balanced living means protecting your mental and emotional health, too. And stress reduction needs to be at the top of your to-do list.
Balanced Living: Making the Commitment
Balanced living means considering all aspects of your life: relationships, work, fitness and health, and emotional well-being.
We all get bogged down with work and family responsibilities from time to time, but making time for yourself is necessary so that you can keep up with all your responsibilities. All batteries get run down, even yours. So recharge your body physically and mentally and make the commitment to enjoy some “you time” every day.
Balanced Living: Boosting Happiness and Creativity
Being happy gives you a better outlook on life, so you're more prepared to tackle your tasks. Stress, on the other hand, can keep you from enjoying life and can have a negative impact on your health. Research also has shown that stress can stifle creativity.
Make time to take care of yourself and indulge in creative outlets you enjoy to help with stress reduction:
- Schedule time each week to allow yourself to de-stress, and spend a few minutes on relaxation each day.
- Get up a few minutes early in the morning to savor a cup of coffee and some quiet time before everyone else wakes up.
- Make daily activities more fun — try a new ethnic recipe for dinner, take a long aromatherapy soak instead of a quick shower, or listen to new music or learn a new language while you commute to work.
- Devote time each week to a hobby you love or to learning a new one you’ve always wanted to try; art classes in particular are stimulating and rewarding.
- Instead of just sitting at your desk and gobbling down lunch while you keep working, spend your lunch hour doing things you enjoy, like going for a walk, taking an exercise break, or reading a book.
- Don’t forget to laugh. It’s great for your health and can help:
- Alleviate stress
- Fight off infections
- Boost brain health
- Lower blood pressure
- Improve your mood
Exercise isn't something you should force yourself to do, or you won’t be likely to stick with. Do something that you like and look forward to doing, instead of another chore that you'll be tempted to skip. Remember that exercise plays a huge role in stress reduction, so make time and motivate yourself for exercise by:
- Making a good long workout part of your weekend plans. Hit the gym or plan a fun activity — go for a hike, bike ride, or play a game of golf or tennis.
- Sneaking in some exercise on your lunch hour at work, or get up earlier and work out before you start your day.
- Scheduling appointments for exercise just like you do other important tasks; commit the plan to paper so you'll be more motivated to stick with it.
The right diet will keep your body healthy, give you energy, and boost your spirits. Healthy food can be delicious, and it's fun learning new recipes and healthy combinations. Also, healthy cooking doesn't have to be time-consuming:
- Scour the Internet for heart-healthy recipes, or buy a cookbook focused on quick and tasty cuisine.
- Buy fresh, ready-to-eat fruits and vegetables so that you can grab them on the go.
- Plan your healthy menu for the week ahead and buy all the groceries that you’ll need; having a system will help you resist the temptation to call the pizza delivery guy.
Learn more about balance.
Last Updated: 5/20/2009
HOW TO LIVE A BALANCED LIFE
By Alex Blackwell on Apr 02, 2009
- See more at: http://www.thebridgemaker.com/how-to-live-a-balanced-life/#sthash.voyKM3Xa.dpuf
We have overstretched our personal boundaries and forgotten that true happiness comes from living an authentic life fueled with a sense of purpose and balance. – Dr. Kathleen Hall
There’s no question we want great things for ourselves and for our loved ones. However, many of us are stuck without knowing how to create the life we want. We regret the fact we sometimes have to live paycheck-to-paycheck; or our relationships are not as satisfying as we want them to be; or our lives are simply not balanced and we are not going in the direction we had hoped.
Some believe the notion of a truly balanced life is only a myth. With too much to do and with too little time to do it, anxiety and stress replaces happiness much of the time. However, there is hope, because the ability to change our lives exists in all of us. We just need to learn how to become more balanced.
Living a balanced life is the ability to take all that life throws at us from our careers, home, health and everything else, and put it in a central location so we can reframe it in order to better understand it, learn from it and grow from it.
The following life balance strategies provide a roadmap; a handbook of sorts, to begin the process of living a balanced life each day.
Create a VisionBefore you start, you ought to know where you want to go. The lack of not having a plan is what keeps some folks from creating the life they want because they have no idea what they want in the first place.
A life vision is not an etched in stone deal that can never be changed; but rather, it is a high-level vision statement that goes something like, “this is what I want from my life.”
For me, I want to meet, or exceed, the financial and emotional needs of my family. I want to be in control of my future and give myself the ability to have choices with my career. I may not achieve all of these things every single day, but this vision is what gives me focus and a very good idea of what a balanced life looks, and feels like, when I’m struggling and veering off course.
Identify Your GoalsYour life’s vision is what provides governance to how you want to live; your goals are the tactical components of your vision. Your goals help make your vision a reality. For the most part, goals are measureable and quantifiable.
Goals can vary in size and scope. One goal might be to retire at age 50 in order to begin living your life’s passion and another might be to find one evening during the week when you and your partner can go out and spend some time alone.
Often, our lives feel out of balanced when we have not clearly defined our goals or we are not actively pursuing them. Take time each week; each day, to consider what you want to accomplish. Make a plan to align your activities to your life’s vision.
Prioritize Do what’s important first. The distractions of email, text messages, and mind-numbing television can keep us from focusing on what is truly important.
In order to spend time on activities that support you life’s vision and will keep you daily life in better balance, consider these productivity tips:
- Have at least one hour of email amnesty each day at work, or try to shut-off your email one day each week.
- Get up at least 15 minutes earlier each day to give yourself a better head-start and use this time to make your plan for the day.
- Make a list – mental is fine, but written is better, of the things you need to accomplish and the things you want to accomplish for the day.
- Be on the outlook for time-killers such as planting yourself in front of the television or thinking of who to call next on the telephone instead of addressing the items on your to-do list.
- Know what you value most in life and then spend more time there.
Five Golden MinutesTake five minutes each day and consider what worked for you and what didn’t. Look at the things that made you feel successful and happy compared to those that contributed to anxiety and stress.
Look for patterns. Living a balanced life is about identifying and doing more of what’s working and less of what is not. Stop and think if your actions and thoughts support your vision and goals. Nurture the ones that are effective and adjust the ones which are counterproductive.
Pay Attention to Your BodyIf you are feeling fatigue and worn down at the end of the day, or find it difficult to get up in the morning, these are signs you are doing too much. Persistent headaches, constipation, and sexual dysfunctional are all warning signs your body, and your life, are out of balance.
Your body is an excellent sounding board. It will tell you a lot about the quality of your life if you choose to listen.
Ask for Feedback and HelpI’m not sure any body has everything figured out. Asking for feedback is not a sign of weakness – it’s a sign of resolve and determination. It shows a commitment to wanting to improve your life and for learning how to balance everything thrown at you.
Reach out to those who have experienced what you are experiencing and seek their guidance. When you don’t know how to do something, it’s OK to ask.
Make AdjustmentsStuff happens. Sometimes we are thrown a curveball when we are expecting a fastball.
My son, Andrew, plays baseball for his high school team. There are times when he is down in the count no balls and two strikes. This is the time the pitcher usually throws some junk, either an off-speed pitch or a curveball. Andrew takes his hands all of the way back and waits. But instead, a fastball comes.
In less than an tenth of a second he has to make the important adjustment to try to throw his hands at the pitch and see what happens. Sometimes he is successful, often times he is not, but he still commits to making the adjustment. There is a good lesson here for the rest of us.
We can think something is expected to happen, and then unexpectedly, something else happens instead. Life is dynamic. Yes, it’s good to have a plan, but a big part of any plan is the contingency plan that stands right behind it. Having a good back-up plan can help us keep our balance when we see the fastballs coming.
Rest and RelaxTaking a time-out now and then isn’t a luxury as much as it is a necessity. It’s important to take a step back and process everything going on in your life. Your vision can be a lot clearer when you are not so close to the situation.
Rest your body and a sharper mind will follow. Use your new-found energy and clearer thinking to help you keep your balance as you navigate through some rough waters. Solid footing is always close by. We just have to be mindful we need its stability from time to time.